Conversations - Show 5 - 2008-08-17

This week the show focused on bullying.  Lisa Parisi and Ginger Lewman, filling in for Maria Knee, were joined by Nicole Hill and Robin Martin.  Together we tackled such issues as a school's responsibility when it comes to bullying, the best thing for a parent to do, and how to deal with bullies and victims.

Chat log below:

2008-08-17 11:32:58 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: http://www.plurk.com/p/2bhja
2008-08-17 11:33:03 [Message] Linda George -> -EdTechTalk: Hi Everyone!
2008-08-17 11:33:09 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: Hello
2008-08-17 11:33:09 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: middle school is such a big topic of finding out who you are, hence bullying
2008-08-17 11:33:38 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: my daughter is entering middle school
2008-08-17 11:33:49 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Is everyone in here teachers/educators of some kind?
2008-08-17 11:34:02 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Yes
2008-08-17 11:34:03 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: teach communications 7th grade
2008-08-17 11:34:13 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: What age levels?
2008-08-17 11:34:19 [Message] Sarah S -> -EdTechTalk: Yes, HS Art and tech integration
2008-08-17 11:34:19 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: I taught MS for almost 20 yrs no K12 Tech integration spec.
2008-08-17 11:34:20 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: middle school tech integrator - 6th, 7th, 8th
2008-08-17 11:34:39 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Girls can be horrible social bullies
2008-08-17 11:35:07 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: bullying isn't what people used to picture it as
2008-08-17 11:35:09 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: My daughter says it's worse than parents know
2008-08-17 11:35:27 [Message] elizabethholmes -> -EdTechTalk: Administrator w/responsibility for 21st Century teaching and learning in Georgia/Alabama DOD (Department of Defense) schools
2008-08-17 11:35:36 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: Daughter just left MS - was victim of bullying.
2008-08-17 11:35:41 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: and girls keep it to themselves because they're embarrassed or ashamed.
2008-08-17 11:35:41 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Hi Lucy!
2008-08-17 11:35:46 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I'm a retired elementary principal (K-6) and retired university instructor in teacher education
2008-08-17 11:35:57 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: our ES lost 7 kids to another ditrict and left due too bullying.
2008-08-17 11:35:58 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: Hi Ginger!
2008-08-17 11:36:25 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: we have safe schools in MO
2008-08-17 11:36:32 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: is most of your experience with face to face bullying or is cyberbullying becoming more prominent?
2008-08-17 11:37:19 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: Girls can be so mean.
2008-08-17 11:37:24 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: So were you a bully or were you bullied?
2008-08-17 11:37:31 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: And they start so young
2008-08-17 11:37:32 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: mean girls movie shows it
2008-08-17 11:37:41 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: bullied
2008-08-17 11:37:42 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: We saw that movie, Lori.
2008-08-17 11:37:50 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: cyberbullying in on the increase because they think they can't be caught
2008-08-17 11:37:50 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I was able to side-step bullying, but if I hadn't had those social skills, I would have been a victim because I wasn't a Queen Bee
2008-08-17 11:38:03 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: I have to recommend a program we use in our school called Tribes
2008-08-17 11:38:06 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: Hi everyone!
2008-08-17 11:38:13 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: HI Colleen!
2008-08-17 11:38:15 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: No putdowns is one of the agreements that everyone buys into
2008-08-17 11:38:27 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Hello Cathy
2008-08-17 11:38:29 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: Tell us about Tribes
2008-08-17 11:38:30 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Is Tribes available online for review?
2008-08-17 11:38:38 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: we had to talk to some girls who had xanga and myspace ( they were too young and shouldn't) and they were talking bad about other girls
2008-08-17 11:38:38 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: There is another program called "Don't Laugh at Me"
2008-08-17 11:38:44 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Hey Im late--sorry
2008-08-17 11:39:04 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: @LucGray-I agree with you about Tribes- I taught it to all of my student teachers, in fact we used Tribes throughout out teacher ed program so they would be sure to use it in their own classrooms.
2008-08-17 11:39:05 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: http://www.tribes.com
2008-08-17 11:39:18 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: That's a great idea,Peggy!
2008-08-17 11:39:24 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: I use tribes activities in my classroom.
2008-08-17 11:39:28 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Some teahers dismiss it a "rite of passage", but we need to educate them too
2008-08-17 11:39:28 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: My dad was a drill instructor and ruled by physical and mental force
2008-08-17 11:39:38 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: My sense of humor is sarcastic, so I wonder if I've ever hurt someone's feelings without realizing it?? But the bullying I see is more purposeful.
2008-08-17 11:39:47 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I also really like the Don't Laug at Me curriculum-really helps students to learn to be more tolerant of everyone
2008-08-17 11:39:55 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Sarcasm makes someone feel dumb. VERY quickly
2008-08-17 11:40:07 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I'd like to know more about Tribes and Don't Laugh At Me curriculums
2008-08-17 11:40:13 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: So glad you mentioned sarcasm--there are so many teachers who use sarcasm with their students and it can often be very cruel
2008-08-17 11:40:40 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: More teachers need some sensitivity training about humor and bullying
2008-08-17 11:40:43 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: I had a similar situation-we lost a teacher to--he was reassigned
2008-08-17 11:40:44 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: I have instructed daughter that when a chat turns to teasing, bullying or negative, she is to say she does not want to participate in conversation, please change the topic, if it does not change she should leave the conversation and say why she left. I also suggest she saves the chat and show me.
2008-08-17 11:40:59 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: proud to say she has done so on a few occasions.
2008-08-17 11:41:03 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: I am sometimes shocked by what teachers say "in fun"
2008-08-17 11:41:18 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @nancykeane I am too
2008-08-17 11:41:19 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: The problem with sarcasm is that it often cloaks insults in "humor" but the listener isn't sure which to believe, the insult or the fun. Especially kids! They laugh along, but...
2008-08-17 11:41:38 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: they don't know how to take it
2008-08-17 11:41:42 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: my sister in law still doesn't get sarcasm.  30 years old. = )
2008-08-17 11:41:43 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: trying colors bear with me
2008-08-17 11:41:59 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Sharon, that was well said - cloaking insults
2008-08-17 11:42:01 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: maybe this one
2008-08-17 11:42:02 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Yardsticks is a great book!
2008-08-17 11:42:03 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: for those with low self-esteems it goes right to their heart
2008-08-17 11:42:58 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: How about kids and the cliques....."your a prep"  etc?
2008-08-17 11:43:09 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: Just read Burn by Suzanne Phillips. Bullying by football star.
2008-08-17 11:43:12 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: bknittle, I like the advice you gave your daughter.
2008-08-17 11:43:21 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I'm trying colors, too, cathyjo
2008-08-17 11:43:22 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: I don't like her cause she is a prep...I hear that all the time.
2008-08-17 11:43:30 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: IN SC parents are given a 1-800 nmber to report it
2008-08-17 11:43:36 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: oh, gosh, the stereotyping is amazing!
2008-08-17 11:43:40 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: sure kids don't want to be the same or be labeled, but they are labeling their peers
2008-08-17 11:43:49 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: It seems harmless, but it is a form of prejudice
2008-08-17 11:43:58 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: good morning everyone
2008-08-17 11:44:03 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: wow who is slamming the keyboard?
2008-08-17 11:44:08 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: I make my students talk to everyone of all backgrounds and mix groups.
2008-08-17 11:44:16 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: Calling kids SPED drives me crazy.
2008-08-17 11:44:28 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: luckily in early elementary, everyone mixes pretty well
2008-08-17 11:44:28 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: someone on mic is a heavy typist (like me)
2008-08-17 11:44:30 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: How do you know what the person is like unless you talk to him/her and get to know them.
2008-08-17 11:44:46 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: However, I still see bullying. It seems to be getting worse
2008-08-17 11:44:50 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: What was the parent reaction?
2008-08-17 11:45:11 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: My son was bullied until I threatened the parents with a law suit.
2008-08-17 11:45:14 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: What did the parent of the bully say?
2008-08-17 11:45:28 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: http://www.dontlaugh.org/curricula/ You can download the entire curriculum for Don't Laugh at Me on this site.
2008-08-17 11:45:36 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: They aid on NBC yestrday that Michael Phelps mther said he was bullied
2008-08-17 11:45:44 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: My daughterer is autistic so she misses lots of social cues
2008-08-17 11:45:57 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Directly teaching what prejudice and stereotyping is works better than assuming kids know. Everytime I teach "fact vs. opinion" and "bias" and concepts like that for critical reading comprehension, I ask kids about the stereotypes they experience. They can list countless "groups"
2008-08-17 11:46:17 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: A friends daughter had issues with being bullied this year..girls making fun of her because she is diabetic and wears a pump.
2008-08-17 11:46:21 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: wow GREAT!
2008-08-17 11:46:30 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: social cues -- an important concept! We can help teach these
2008-08-17 11:46:34 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: teacher couldn't believe that the other girls would do that.
2008-08-17 11:46:38 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: recess is a bad time as well
2008-08-17 11:46:43 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: All buses need an adult monitor with the driver
2008-08-17 11:46:44 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: she was victim of bullying on bus - no one believed her on me then there was video a bus finally saw it and they were caught
2008-08-17 11:47:00 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: can you call the bus company as well and make driver aware
2008-08-17 11:47:01 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: 100+ kids 2 adults Can't be everywhere at all times
2008-08-17 11:47:08 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Most bullying goes on in the halls or behind teachers' backs so it's hard to even realize it's going on
2008-08-17 11:47:32 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: I know u cant wait for the next bowling event
2008-08-17 11:47:33 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: My son has hemophilia and bully wanted to see if he really bleeds.
2008-08-17 11:47:51 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: there are some good online activities on stereotyping like http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/games/cybersense_nonsense/
2008-08-17 11:47:55 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @nancy THAT is frightening
2008-08-17 11:47:56 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: @nancykeane That's horrendous.
2008-08-17 11:48:12 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: If I click to link on a site from this chat, will I exit the chatroom? Can I get the links later from an archive?
2008-08-17 11:48:22 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Sometimes, Sharon
2008-08-17 11:48:28 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Parents who do not get resolution at schools are starting to go to civil court
2008-08-17 11:48:41 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: That's why I threatened law suits and police involvement. Meds cost $5000 per event. Covered by insurance thankfully.
2008-08-17 11:48:44 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: there is a good cyberbullying movie for middle school with full curriculum http://www.digizen.org/cyberbullying/film.aspx
2008-08-17 11:49:03 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: when i click the links they open in a new tab (using Firefox)
2008-08-17 11:49:06 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Interesting that the speaker picked on popular friends!
2008-08-17 11:49:17 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks, Cathyjo
2008-08-17 11:49:26 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Often afte Edtech talk shows Ill have 15-20 tabs open LOL
2008-08-17 11:50:12 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Anyone want in to the skype call?
2008-08-17 11:50:21 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: sure
2008-08-17 11:50:21 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I think it needs to be a comprehensive approach rather than a one time teaching or unit because they need to learn a new way of behaving-that's why I love Tribes-it builds community
2008-08-17 11:50:40 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: I'll try to call in
2008-08-17 11:51:00 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: what a great example of the power of peers!
2008-08-17 11:51:04 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: It takes a group to stand up to a bully
2008-08-17 11:51:06 [Message] bknittle -> -EdTechTalk: Phone call need to go - thanks for sharing.
2008-08-17 11:51:24 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Bye
2008-08-17 11:51:48 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @RobinMartin it is amazing how a group can stop a bully, but it takes courage to stand up to him/her
2008-08-17 11:51:57 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: it's so important that kids learn to stand up for each other and not just stand by and ignore or be passive
2008-08-17 11:52:14 [Message] bobcaro -> -EdTechTalk: you wouldn't have said that to her if you were alone - you were doing it for the group, to bond WITH them, AGAINST someone else
2008-08-17 11:52:16 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: PeggyG, I agree that it needs to be comprehensive. We can also jump on teachable moments to open the discussion and set the tone about not tolerating bullying. 
2008-08-17 11:52:17 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: That is what we need to teach our children, band together against the bullly
2008-08-17 11:52:19 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: I do a lot of team building activities in class and stress teamwork
2008-08-17 11:52:39 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Yay for positive peer pressure! We need to teach kids to do that
2008-08-17 11:52:44 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: it helps but isn't the 'cure'
2008-08-17 11:52:50 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Exaactly Sharon
2008-08-17 11:53:05 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: my friend was a bully and her parents were victims
2008-08-17 11:53:28 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: We do a lot of team building in our room. I have seen my kids many years later band together to stand up 
2008-08-17 11:53:29 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: What we were taught at home -YES! And that does make it hard to identify the behavior as wrong
2008-08-17 11:53:30 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: Can I Skype in ...how do I add you all?
2008-08-17 11:53:34 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: @sharon_elin that's why Tribes is so valuable because you can building in a regular community meeting time to keep bringing up concerns and help each other solve them--like the old class meetings :-)
2008-08-17 11:53:36 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: We talk about being a family
2008-08-17 11:53:50 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Now how I teach kids who bully is very different and probably not so nice. It does seem to work in my school though.
2008-08-17 11:54:06 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Peggy, that's a fantastic element of the program. I'll check it out.
2008-08-17 11:54:30 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: GingerTPLC, what do you mean?
2008-08-17 11:54:45 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: wanna share in a second for you guys' feedback
2008-08-17 11:54:46 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: she's comforrtable and she knows you will love her no matter what
2008-08-17 11:55:30 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Teachers won't see everything and can't prevent it all, but they shouldn't ignore it.
2008-08-17 11:56:38 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: Anyone use The Revealers by Doug Wilhelm.  Middle school level. Peer pressure to stop bullying.
2008-08-17 11:56:51 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I just spent a couple of weeks with a middle-school grandson and I was shocked at how much of his language was put-downs and it seemed to the the norm for him and his friends--it was how they related. :-(
2008-08-17 11:56:52 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I've never heard of it, but I'll check it out.
2008-08-17 11:57:21 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: LOL Coleeen
2008-08-17 11:57:28 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: I can hear you
2008-08-17 11:57:40 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Don't know The Revealers--would you use it as a literature circle discussion in your class?
2008-08-17 11:57:43 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: teacher joined in?????? How awful.
2008-08-17 11:57:46 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: Why do all these things happen in math class?
2008-08-17 11:57:49 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Stop-Being-a-Bully&id=1148559
2008-08-17 11:57:51 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: :)
2008-08-17 11:57:56 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Sorry Colleen
2008-08-17 11:58:19 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Math puts those of us on the edge right on over into the deep end--its math's fault! LOL
2008-08-17 11:58:20 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: This one seems to be the best that I've seen: http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-a-Bully
2008-08-17 11:58:31 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: Revealers is fiction. 7th grade start online newspaper about bullying.
2008-08-17 11:58:31 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: I think it was because I was so bad at it...made lots of mistakes and got teased for it.
2008-08-17 11:58:41 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: @colleenk-that's an interesting observation about math class--never though of that connection. Is it because so many kids think they can't do math?
2008-08-17 11:59:24 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Did we have a link for Tribes? I'll go search.
2008-08-17 11:59:38 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Love the funeral for put owns!!!
2008-08-17 11:59:38 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: http://www.tribes.com
2008-08-17 11:59:44 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: @CathyJo @PeggyG I think there's a high level of stress in most math classes.
2008-08-17 11:59:44 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I used to misbehave in math class because of my disinterest (and low abilities in that subject). I could see it happening more there
2008-08-17 11:59:58 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: But not in mine, of course ;)
2008-08-17 12:00:14 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Tribes? Is this it? http://www.tribes.com/
2008-08-17 12:00:24 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Oh, thanks Lucy
2008-08-17 12:00:24 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: http://www.tribes.com
2008-08-17 12:00:37 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: love the funeral and the way you set a tone at the beginning of school
2008-08-17 12:00:50 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @colleenk I think u are irght on students and teachers parts
2008-08-17 12:00:53 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: love that idea
2008-08-17 12:00:54 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Yes--the book is loaded with great activities you can use in the classroom to build community
2008-08-17 12:01:21 [Message] LucyGray -> -EdTechTalk: I lost audio...
2008-08-17 12:01:30 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Did anyone else?
2008-08-17 12:01:35 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I'm fine
2008-08-17 12:01:42 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: I have audio
2008-08-17 12:01:52 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: but GingerTPLC, you come through very loud and a bit distorted.
2008-08-17 12:01:57 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: refresh
2008-08-17 12:01:59 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: no offense
2008-08-17 12:02:22 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Is it bullying?  http://www.bullystoppers.com/is_it_bullying.htm
2008-08-17 12:02:46 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: THanks for the feedback, Sharon. Will sit back. My Mac has a good mic.
2008-08-17 12:02:54 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: :)
2008-08-17 12:03:04 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks for these wonderful links, everyone!
2008-08-17 12:03:52 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: parents can be in such demial abt issue like this
2008-08-17 12:04:31 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: parents don't know that often their kids act much differently out in the world than they do in the home
2008-08-17 12:04:53 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: plus the parents are protective and they - well - love their kids
2008-08-17 12:05:17 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Lisa have u ever cinsidered video (with permission of course?) as a way to show kids (and maybe parents) how they are acting?
2008-08-17 12:05:20 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: role playing -- great idea!!
2008-08-17 12:05:37 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: It's good to have some strategies in mind ahead of time before an incident
2008-08-17 12:05:40 [Message] elizabethholmes -> -EdTechTalk:  Gotta run. The links were terrific. THX!
2008-08-17 12:05:49 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: A teacher in my school videotaped the class and showed the parents. They still denied it.
2008-08-17 12:05:53 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: woof woof
2008-08-17 12:05:57 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: woof
2008-08-17 12:06:14 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: who broughtthe dog?
2008-08-17 12:06:30 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: My cats are reacting to the dog!!
2008-08-17 12:06:36 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: :)
2008-08-17 12:06:41 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @nacy LOL???
2008-08-17 12:06:48 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: not my dogs they are asleep on the floor-dead to the world
2008-08-17 12:06:58 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: desperate times call for desperate measures
2008-08-17 12:07:05 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: do dogs bully cats?  Because I had a cat that bullied the dogs in my house
2008-08-17 12:07:07 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: WITH PERSMISSION
2008-08-17 12:07:11 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I think one of the most powerful ways to change bullying behavior is to develop social skills that come through knowing each other better--not just focusing on bullying and rolepaying, etc. but when you know about a tough experience another student has had it helps you to be more empathatic.
2008-08-17 12:07:27 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: i have access to all the videos form security cameras at school.
2008-08-17 12:07:36 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: but there is not sound
2008-08-17 12:07:38 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: @PeggyG Absolutely!
2008-08-17 12:07:42 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: YES, empathy and emotional intelligence - where is this taught? In school, at home, at church?
2008-08-17 12:07:45 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: That worked even with university students who were intolerant of each other.
2008-08-17 12:08:18 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: "walk a mile in my shoes" type of thing
2008-08-17 12:08:27 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Yes, work with the victims
2008-08-17 12:08:34 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: AND the perpetrators
2008-08-17 12:08:41 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I love big words
2008-08-17 12:09:06 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: This seems to be for younger kids: http://www.beyondbullying.com/7/under11s/4177.html#
2008-08-17 12:09:16 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Ryan Halligan story - The information is at the iSafe.org site
2008-08-17 12:09:34 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Ryan Halligan
2008-08-17 12:10:00 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: iSafe is a fantastic program! We use it in our district.
2008-08-17 12:10:25 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: also netsmartz has short videos http://www.netsmartz.org/resources/reallife.htm
2008-08-17 12:10:34 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Yes, netsmartz!
2008-08-17 12:11:20 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: if you can work with students to resolve the specific situations they will start to learn how to handle it in other situations--like having peers brainstorm different ways to handle the lunchroom or bus problem.
2008-08-17 12:11:33 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: good point, PeggyG
2008-08-17 12:11:42 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: In Phillips new fiction book Burn, kid's father wants him to stand up for himself. Teen ends up killing a teen who witnessed the bullying - not the one who bullied him.
2008-08-17 12:12:01 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: I pick and choose from isafe, netsmartz, cybersmarts and digizen curriculum
2008-08-17 12:12:06 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: You make a good point about the internet having a record-- but in the halls or F2F, bullying often goes unnoticed by teachers
2008-08-17 12:12:40 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Lisa my son is a lot like that--he's a senior
2008-08-17 12:12:46 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: usually when principals are involved in these matters it is about discipline, not teaching. The teaching needs to happen in the classroom and home.
2008-08-17 12:13:30 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: having more of a variety of friends will probably help your daughter in life, and she won't be so clique-ish. It's hard now, but better overall
2008-08-17 12:14:45 [Message] dmkenney -> -EdTechTalk: Have you heard about the two sisters who took it upon themselves to intervene when their classmate was bullied? http://www.pbs.org/teachers/learning.now/2007/06/olivias_letters_1.html Link to the book: http://www.amazon.com/Letters-to-a-Bullied-Girl/dp/B001D23SYY/ref=sr_1_3...
2008-08-17 12:14:48 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Do you all train parents in bullying issues?
2008-08-17 12:15:07 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: How much do you think parents should get involved and problem-solve for their kids when they face bullying? My daughter used to forbid me from intervening with the bullies or their parents, but she appreciated one-on-one role-playing and suggestions from me at home.
2008-08-17 12:15:11 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: We should
2008-08-17 12:15:32 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: my prob is parents dont come to parent workshops. Sigh
2008-08-17 12:15:50 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: We had an community night and not many showed up.
2008-08-17 12:16:16 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: we tried PTA workshop on internet safety, cyberbullying and only 5 parents showed up
2008-08-17 12:16:29 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Do parents know this is going on?
2008-08-17 12:16:32 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: I put out literature at open house in Sep
2008-08-17 12:16:36 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: @sharon_elin that's a great way to approach it--it teaches and supports but doesn't have the parent taking charge to manage the problem for them
2008-08-17 12:16:43 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I mean, do the parents know the bullying is as pervasive as it is?
2008-08-17 12:16:54 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: if we say it is about computer they come
2008-08-17 12:17:06 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: I don't think teachers are aware how pervasive it is.
2008-08-17 12:17:12 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: this year we r trying computers by kids for a parent worhsop
2008-08-17 12:17:14 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Nancykeane, you're right
2008-08-17 12:17:16 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I'm not sure a one-night workshop would make much difference--the ones who need to be there don't come
2008-08-17 12:17:21 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: I think many parents are in denial or just consider it as a rite of passage
2008-08-17 12:17:26 [Message] Linda George -> -EdTechTalk: i am copying and pasting the links as fast as I can: http://tech4kids.wordpress.com/all-about-bullying/  
2008-08-17 12:17:42 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: boys will by boys attitude.
2008-08-17 12:17:42 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: thanks, Linda
2008-08-17 12:17:56 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: yes nancykeane
2008-08-17 12:18:00 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: free gift bags? I'm there.
2008-08-17 12:18:03 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: @Linda-that's a fantastic compilation of bookmarks. Thanks!!
2008-08-17 12:18:05 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @linda u can click them and open in a new tab then bookmark in your fav bookmarking tool
2008-08-17 12:18:05 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: and survival of the fittest - teen girls as queen bees, the best rise to the top
2008-08-17 12:18:19 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: we tried
2008-08-17 12:18:20 [Message] Linda George -> -EdTechTalk: I was bullied horribly...always was the new kid. I still cringe thinking about it
2008-08-17 12:18:37 [Message] Linda George -> -EdTechTalk: good idea, Cathyjo
2008-08-17 12:18:49 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: i need to make a parent resource page so im thinking of adding a page for bullying/cyberbullying
2008-08-17 12:19:15 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I was an Army brat, moved all the time and was the new kid. I learned how to use humor to deflect bullying, but I still felt left out with cliques that were already established
2008-08-17 12:19:24 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: I really like the idea of surveying your own students (whether classroom or school) because that makes it real and personal--not as easy to deny when students are anonymously reporting their perceptions.
2008-08-17 12:19:40 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: For parents: How to talk to schools: www.hazelden.org/web/public/ document/olweusfacts_howtalkeducators.pdf
2008-08-17 12:20:07 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Ginger, will you repost the URL? It didn't work
2008-08-17 12:20:21 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: www.hazelden.org/web/public/ document/olweusfacts_howtalkeducators.pdf
2008-08-17 12:20:32 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: sorry. won't work. Copy/Paste?
2008-08-17 12:20:57 [Message] Linda George -> -EdTechTalk: c p wont work either..odd
2008-08-17 12:21:05 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: www.hazelden.org/web/public/ document/olweusfacts_howtalkeducators.pdf
2008-08-17 12:21:09 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: it splits-can you make it a tiny URL?
2008-08-17 12:21:09 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: dang it.
2008-08-17 12:21:21 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: hmm. I can try! It's a pdf link
2008-08-17 12:21:31 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: trying again to post this http://www.digizen.org/cyberbullying/film.aspx
2008-08-17 12:21:31 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: http://www.digizen.org/cyberbullying/film.aspx this one although done in UK so some words not american- is very good
2008-08-17 12:21:41 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: sorry duplicated - having lag
2008-08-17 12:22:18 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: YES, bullying never ends!  We have intellectual and professional bullies
2008-08-17 12:22:19 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: http://tinyurl.com/6qu4g4   Try this for hazelden link
2008-08-17 12:22:47 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: I'm old enough that I won't allowed myself to be bullied anymore.
2008-08-17 12:22:57 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: we actually have a couple of teacher bullies in our school
2008-08-17 12:23:07 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: bad thing is their behavior is not addressed
2008-08-17 12:23:22 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @amy that is frigtening
2008-08-17 12:23:26 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Got it, Ginger; not as a link but as a pdf file
2008-08-17 12:23:27 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: I've seen intellectual bullies even in my own PLN. And maybe I've even been one.
2008-08-17 12:23:38 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @nancykeane I take your stance
2008-08-17 12:23:41 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Me, too, Ginger. Busted.
2008-08-17 12:23:54 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @ginger i have too--i just dont interact with htem
2008-08-17 12:24:10 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @Cathyjo it is very scary. Expecially when you see it in action
2008-08-17 12:24:29 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: We used peer mediators when I was a principal and one of the great values of the program was the training for the mediators and they actually used the strategies to solve problems at home with siblings and parents :-)
2008-08-17 12:24:31 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: I also tend to lord myself above teachers who don't know as much about technology. I"m trying to bring myself into a more humble attitude
2008-08-17 12:24:45 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @Ginger one even insisted on talking to me f2f after he was busted by others in my network for being a bully. I spoke but gave the cold shoulder--he's quite diff in person
2008-08-17 12:24:48 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: @cathyjo I speak up and try to call them on it. And also potentially set myself up as kind of a whiney PLN member.
2008-08-17 12:25:35 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: he prob thinks verything is a-okay but i and many others in my PLN will NEVER forget him
2008-08-17 12:25:59 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: Must say i think manipulative people are bullies too
2008-08-17 12:26:04 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: I know I've damaged my online personna as a "smart alec know-it-all" when I call a big-name person on his rudeness.
2008-08-17 12:26:21 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: Not this Nancy :-)
2008-08-17 12:26:27 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: their manipulations may not be overtly mean, but they are mean spirited none the less
2008-08-17 12:27:21 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Again, sometimes it's not really mean-spirited, but misplaced sarcasm. We can be sarcastic only when all parties feel safe & sure of the relationship, and then only in small degrees
2008-08-17 12:27:31 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: but bullies of all ages can justify their own behavior in their own minds. So it makes it tough to get them to face how others feel due to their actions/words.
2008-08-17 12:27:52 [Message] RobinMartin -> -EdTechTalk: Of course not that Nancy....
2008-08-17 12:28:22 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Communication, two-way, seems to be the difficult answer. I find it hard to call someone on being a bully and admit that I felt bullied. I'm not confrontational and perhaps I need to be
2008-08-17 12:28:41 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: @sharon: not confrontational, perse, but at least assertive.
2008-08-17 12:29:03 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: u r not wimpy
2008-08-17 12:29:18 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @sharon that is hard
2008-08-17 12:29:30 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Yes, but I still feel socially afraid of doing that except with close friends or family... need to learn to speak up!  Also, need to invite others to tell me when they feel that way with me.
2008-08-17 12:29:34 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: We call them strong teachers -- not bullies.
2008-08-17 12:30:10 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: teachers in my experience tend not to be assertive and "confrontational"--ever been in staff meetings where people are afraid to speak their mind because they don't want people to think badly of them?
2008-08-17 12:30:52 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @PeggyG or when someone is speaking  their mind and many disagree but won't speak up
2008-08-17 12:30:56 [Message] CLykowski -> -EdTechTalk: great conversation everyone heading out to start egg rolls/sushi making for day
2008-08-17 12:30:59 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: Yes, but isn't it interesting that many teachers seem to like having "control" in their classroom and with students? Peer pressure is difficult at any age!
2008-08-17 12:31:04 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: As librarian, I see a lot of the kids that are hiding from bullies. I feel so badly for them.
2008-08-17 12:31:46 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: One way we dealt with the staff meeting issue was to create meeting norms that set expectations for people to speak up and support the norms--empowered them to challenge others
2008-08-17 12:31:51 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: @nancy me too.  What can we do?
2008-08-17 12:32:14 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: @nancy I LOVED spending time in the library.  It's exactly what I did there.
2008-08-17 12:32:43 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: @cathyjo I want to give them a safe place to be and someone to value them.
2008-08-17 12:32:59 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: @Amy-exactly! the conversations about not agreeing happen after the meeting in the parking lot or teacher's lounge--just like kids who may be approrpiate in the classroom but not out of the sight of teachers/parents
2008-08-17 12:32:59 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: well i do that too but i feel bad for them
2008-08-17 12:33:30 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: @cathyjo.  I'm glad we can be there for them. Gives them somewhere to feel safe.
2008-08-17 12:33:44 [Message] sharon_elin -> -EdTechTalk: This was wonderful! Thanks for this insight and all the great ideas and links! Bye!
2008-08-17 12:34:07 [Message] Cathy E -> -EdTechTalk: Great Conversation - Thanks
2008-08-17 12:34:24 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: @Peggy G this frustrates me as a teacher, mother, co-worker
2008-08-17 12:34:29 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Excellent conversations! Thanks everyone for being willing to share to give us real situations to grapple with
2008-08-17 12:34:32 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks for allowing me to be a part of the conversation.
2008-08-17 12:34:33 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: http://ettconversations.blogspot.com/
2008-08-17 12:34:39 [Message] GingerTPLC -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks all for coming in!!  This really is important we continue to develop social / emotiuonal skills along with the cognitive skills fo kids!
2008-08-17 12:34:48 [Message] colleenk -> -EdTechTalk: Have a great day everyone. See you next time.
2008-08-17 12:34:52 [Message] Amy C -> -EdTechTalk: thanks everyone for all the ideas and threads of conversation
2008-08-17 12:35:07 [Message] James Sigler -> -EdTechTalk: Shucks, jut missed it
2008-08-17 12:35:31 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Inclusion is a great followup topic for today :-)
2008-08-17 12:35:45 [Message] Lori A -> -EdTechTalk: thanks all
2008-08-17 12:35:49 [Message] Cathyjo -> -EdTechTalk: yes it is--thanks for the show sorry i was late--bye!
2008-08-17 12:35:51 [Message] nancykeane -> -EdTechTalk: Great topic to follow this since many are bullied.
2008-08-17 12:35:52 [Message] PeggyG -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks all!
2008-08-17 12:36:48 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks for coming.
2008-08-17 12:36:54 [Message] Linda George -> -EdTechTalk: Thank YOU!
2008-08-17 12:37:34 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: Thanks for allowing me to jump in.
2008-08-17 12:39:28 [Message] nhill -> -EdTechTalk: Good bye.
2008-08-17 12:39:33 [Message] Lparisi -> -EdTechTalk: Bye