Conversations Episode 60

Post-Show description: 

 This week, Sheila and Lisa were joined by Amanda Marrinan to discuss the topic of dealing with adults who say or do inept things in front of children.  Who is responsible for saying something: the teacher who overhears, the children, or the administration?  Maria Knee was missed this week but was well represented by Amanda, who graciously stayed up very late in Australia to join us.

Chat:

 11:16:44  Lisa Parisi : Welcome to Conversations.  The show will be beginning in 15 minutes.

 11:17:00  sheila : Can't wait!

 11:17:05  william Vegazo Muro : ok well be waiting

11:24:53  Lisa Parisi : Hello Jim

 11:24:58  Jim Beeghley : Hi

 11:24:59  sheila : Welcome Jim! We will be starting in about 5 min

 11:25:06  Lisa Parisi : Stream will be starting soon.

 11:26:19  Jim Beeghley : What is today's topic?

 11:26:35  Lisa Parisi : Dealing with adults that are socially inept around students.

 11:27:05  sheila : I'll switch to green-blue

 11:27:42  Lisa Parisi : Hello Loonyhiker

 11:27:53  loonyhiker : hey there y'all! it's cold here in SC!

 11:28:11  sheila : Hi there!

 11:28:23  Lisa Parisi : Hello Barb

 11:28:39  Barb In Nebraska : Hello!

11:29:12  sheila : Conversations will be starting a few minutes.

 11:29:40  Lisa Parisi : This room is for Conversations.

 11:29:49  Barb In Nebraska : great!

 11:30:09  Lisa Parisi : We have a show until 12:30.

 11:30:13  Lisa Parisi : Try room 2

 11:31:12  Lisa Parisi : Only ustream today...no ETTA streaming

 11:31:29  Lisa Parisi : Ustream is on

 11:31:31  loonyhiker : love the snowman!

 11:31:40  Lisa Parisi : Do we have sound?

 11:31:44  loonyhiker : i hear u loud and clear

11:32:11  loonyhiker : hooray amanda

 11:32:22  Jim Beeghley : Hey Amanda, did you go swimming yesterday?

 11:32:34  marragem : Hello everyone!

 11:32:35  PeggyG : Hi everyone!

 11:32:39  Barb In Nebraska : I don't hear anything

 11:32:55  sheila : Hello everyone!

 11:33:02  marragem : Yes I did, Jim. had a swim about an hour ago too...at 1am!

 11:33:03  Barb In Nebraska : I always forget how to get sound when I"m in this room

 11:33:04  PeggyG : Great to see you Jim--just sent an email to Sarah last night :-)

 11:33:06  loonyhiker : @Barb in Nebraska Click on the snowman

 11:33:21  Barb In Nebraska : Oooh! THanks!

 11:33:32  PeggyG : very interesting topic today!! :-)

 11:33:46  Jim Beeghley : @peggyG Yes, she read it to me this morning.  :)

 11:34:07  Barb In Nebraska : coooold!

 11:34:10  Barb In Nebraska : Brrr!

 11:34:13  PeggyG : We're very excited to have CivilWarSallie on Classroom 2.0 LIVE this Saturday :-)

 11:34:37  Barb In Nebraska : right now only zero degrees!

 11:34:39  Maureen : That should be a great show Peggy

 11:34:41  loonyhiker : it was 19F here in SC this morning which is really cold! last year it was 50 degrees warmer

 11:34:45  Jim Beeghley : 24F here in Central Pennsylvania

 11:34:46  PeggyG : It is beautiful weather in Phoenix AZ right now--71 degree days and sunny!

 11:34:48  Barb In Nebraska : WE had 3 snow days!

 11:34:53  McTeach : It was off the coast...not on land.

 11:34:54  Barb In Nebraska : 1 was for snow, 2 for cold

 11:35:03  Lisa Parisi : Wow!

 11:35:15  sheila : 2 for cold! Yikes!

 11:35:25  PeggyG : Love hearing from Amanda!! Last days of summer break :-)

 11:35:27  Barb In Nebraska : it's supposed to get up to a balmy 20 degrees F!

 11:35:44  Maureen : It's up to 15°F here.

 11:36:26  Lisa Parisi : Welcome Cathy, McTeach, and Maureen

 11:36:42  McTeach : Good morning, Lisa!

 11:36:51  Cathy E : Happy New Year

 11:36:55  Maureen : Hi Lisa, et al Your tweet was intriguing this morning.

 11:37:05  PeggyG : We had Rachel Boyd featured on the K12 Online Conference Fireside chat yesterday and she did such a fantastic presentation. Exciting stuff going on in her classroom in New Zealand!

 11:37:31  Maureen : @Peggy G I missed the chat, but loved her K12 presentation

 11:37:41  marragem : I missed that yesterday, Peggy. Didn't have internet access

 11:37:49  PeggyG : Twiddla is a great program! I used to use it.

 11:37:51  Barb In Nebraska : Twibla?

 11:38:04  Barb In Nebraska : Twiddla?

 11:38:09  PeggyG : yes Barb

 11:38:53  PeggyG : http://www.twiddla.com/Home.aspx  web-based meeting tool

 11:39:45  Barb In Nebraska : oh thanks, checked it out.

11:40:52  PeggyG : you can see a short video re Twiddla here (starts playing so wait to view): http://tinyurl.com/5m53aj

 11:41:22  Maureen : Hmmmm I guess she really was

 11:41:47  Barb In Nebraska : oh dear! a *blonde* moment!

 11:42:10  Barb In Nebraska : I wonder if I would say something.....I might have, and made it a joke!

 11:42:14  McTeach : I hate that one!!!!

 11:42:27  Maureen : Teach them to say criss cross applesauce

  11:42:42  loonyhiker : i have heard teachers tell kids to stop acting retarded!  this makes me furious

 11:42:42  Maureen : I use generic guys

 11:42:53  PeggyG : I use generic guys too ...

 11:42:55  McTeach : Loonyhiker...seriously???

11:43:01  McTeach : I say "ladies and gentlemen"

 11:43:03  PeggyG : there is for me :-)

 11:43:11  Barb In Nebraska : I say Ladies and gentlemen

 11:43:16  marragem : oh Pat...that's unbelievable!

 11:43:51  loonyhiker : @mcteach yup! i have even gone to him and told him privately that i found it offensive and it hurts my sped kids feelings - he told me they needed to get tougher skin and this was real life

 11:44:08  Barb In Nebraska : I've heard my students say, "can I Chinese Cut YOu" I stopped that right away

 11:44:23  Lisa Parisi : What does that even mean Barb?

 11:44:29  loonyhiker : i don't know what that means @barb

 11:44:37  McTeach : Pat, that's awful! "real life"??? I don't believe that!

 11:44:44  Barb In Nebraska : I think it means to take cuts

 11:45:02  Barb In Nebraska : Not sure how 'Chinese' got put into the phrase

 11:45:10  PeggyG : there is a dictionary definitition for guys: says "Informal. persons of either sex; people: Could you guys help me with this?"

 11:45:15  loonyhiker : @mcteach i explained that we needed to be role models and that was really offensive - he just laughed in my face and walked away

 11:45:16  jackiegerstein : According to one dictionary definition Guys is informal persons of either sex. Have to pick and choose battles - I

 11:45:17  Maureen : You wouldn't embarrass a child in front of the group, so...

 11:45:32  jackiegerstein : Yes Peggy - we were on the same track here

 11:45:41  PeggyG : yes Jackie :-)

 11:45:49  Barb In Nebraska : I found the phrase "Chinese Cut" in the urban dictionary

 11:45:52  loonyhiker : yup, that is why the south uses "y'all" lol

 11:45:53  McTeach : Pat, I think he should consider a different career. Perhaps construction worker would fit him better!!

 11:45:59  Maureen : I usually say something like "7th graders- listen up"

 11:45:59  *not*GingerTPLC : If anything, having the kids pause allows them to consider their words more carefully.

 11:46:04  PeggyG : funny loonyhiker!! :-)

 11:46:46  PeggyG : how many of you talk about "senior moments"? :-)

11:47:11  Maureen : I've had parents say something in front of kids, but pulled them aside afterwards and talked with them

 11:47:32  loonyhiker : @peggy i do, because i really am forgetful and think it has to do with menopause and i'm now over 50

 11:47:47  PeggyG : I say it frequently about myself!

 11:48:00  Maureen : @PeggyG- all my moments are senior moments

 11:48:20  *not*GingerTPLC : hmm. Good question--if call ourselves names, what does that show our kids? For instance, I refer to myself as a fat old lady.

 11:48:33  PeggyG : good thought Ginger!

 11:48:49  Lisa Parisi : Good point.  Not Ginger, aren't you telling kids its okay to call people names?

 11:48:51  *not*GingerTPLC : I do that so if a kid decides to call me a name, it's nothing worse than I've ever said. Demonstrates ability to laugh at self.

 11:49:44  *not*GingerTPLC : I also tell them it's ok for *me* to call me fat, but not for others. How confusing is that?

 11:49:56  PeggyG : when does humor cross the line to inappropriate talk? not sure there is a right/wrong

 11:50:14  *not*GingerTPLC : @Peggy G: Does it depend on your community?

 11:50:31  loonyhiker : @not GingerTPLC my students aren't to say bad things about others but especially themselves - they get in the habit of calling themselves dumb and stupid

 11:50:33  *not*GingerTPLC : Lisa, that is your job. I like that. Parents have neglected that.

 11:50:35  Maureen : When you're talking to kids you are teaching, when you call out an adult you are judging

 11:50:44  McTeach : Lisa, I feel like that's a HUGE part of my job!

 11:50:45  *not*GingerTPLC : Good point, Pat.

 11:51:23  *not*GingerTPLC : retarded = slow, but it's hurtful.

 11:51:34  loonyhiker : @Ginger my students had to write "I am a born winner!" on every paper turned in for a grade. Students from 20 years ago still remember that and tell me :)

 11:51:35  jackiegerstein : Maybe it becomes a teachable moment - having the kids (remember when the term kids was unacceptable) discuss, research the origins of some of the terms

 11:51:47  PeggyG : I definitely agree that we need to teach kids about the language they use and how they are treating other people so they can make appropriate choices when the teacher/parent isn't around.

 11:52:16  McTeach : I don't think I could have held back on that one!

 11:52:19  *not*GingerTPLC : Pat! I love that "I'm a born winner" for that community of kids! LOVE it!

 11:52:58  PeggyG : Remember the old activity IALAC--I am loveable and capable. :-)

 11:53:15  loonyhiker : @Lisa you are also teaching the kids how to cope if they can't chane a situation

 11:53:32  loonyhiker : *change (sorry for the mistyping)

 11:53:32  McTeach : Great point, Pat!!

11:53:57  *not*GingerTPLC : Ok, time for a "push back:" When does self-esteem building turn into something artificial and less effective?

 11:54:04  Maureen : Maybe you should read your intro to them- respectful, civil... conversations

 11:54:20  *not*GingerTPLC : lol!

 11:54:49  *not*GingerTPLC : It gets mushy and just not real.

 11:54:55  *not*GingerTPLC : no, but some do, I'm afraid.

 11:54:56  loonyhiker : for my students -writing that phrase is artificial at first and then they start believing it and it becomes almost essential

 11:55:03  McTeach : Wasn't expecting push backs from NOT Ginger!!!  :P

 11:55:07  *not*GingerTPLC : Pat, fake it til you make it.

 11:55:22  *not*GingerTPLC : @McTeach--LOL!!

11:55:59  PeggyG : that's a really good question Ginger! takes me back to the days of the Circle activities--can't remember what they were called but in the 60's and 70's that was a big emphasis.

 11:56:08  Lisa Parisi : Does anyone want to join the skype chat?

 11:56:12  loonyhiker : @ginger they are so "brainwashed" about their lack of ability so sometimes they do have to work to learn a new behavior

11:56:17  Maureen : That comes from those "cute" precoscious (sp) kids on TV... and the adults laugh to hear it - when it comes from the TV, not their own kids

11:56:56  Lisa Parisi : Yes Maureen...I agree.

 11:57:01  PeggyG : what about some of the current TV shows that are so popular right now like Family Guy or Simpsons?

 11:57:34  Maureen : @PeggyG- the kids love them. Lucky for me- only TV station up in the boonies

 11:57:40  McTeach : Peggy...I think on TV that DISrespect is more the norm

 11:57:51  PeggyG : social skills are essential to teach kids!!!

 11:58:02  Barb In Nebraska : We use the Boys Town Social Skills

 11:58:09  McTeach : How do you teach social skills to middle schoolers???

 11:58:13  Lisa Parisi : WE do Responsive Classroom

 11:58:15  Barb In Nebraska : It's a very specific list of skills for our students

11:58:30  Barb In Nebraska : McTeach, BOys Town has special ones for 7th and 8th graders

11:58:40  Lisa Parisi : CARES - Cooperation, Assertion, Responsibility, Empathy, Self-Control

 11:58:42  McTeach : Thanks, Barb!

 11:58:50  PeggyG : @Barb-we also used the Boys Town Social Skills program for awhile in my school. we also did a lot with peer mediation

11:59:18  PeggyG : great point Sheila!! needs to be a school norm!

  11:59:32  sheila : We've tried different programs in middle school but nothings perfect.

 11:59:33  loonyhiker : We looked at movies and discussed the appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. Then they role play the right way the characters should have acted

11:59:36  Maureen : I've heard a lot of adults - parents, speak to kids in ways that are unbelievable- awful. We all lose it at times, but parents are not always great role models

  12:00:12  PeggyG : yes Maureen! it's very sad to hear how some parents communicate with their kids--see it all the time in grocery stores!

12:00:49  Leslie D. : Sometimes the "experienced" teachers have bad habits as well.

 12:01:01  Jim Beeghley : Losing my laptop so the kids can play Club Penguin

 12:01:02  *not*GingerTPLC : That's where quality mentorships really help.

 12:01:05  Jim Beeghley : have a great day everyone

12:01:10  Lisa Parisi : Bye Jim

 12:01:11  Maureen : Just noticed that Maria isn't here. Is she sick?

 12:01:13  PeggyG : age doesn't necessarily determine the "bad habits"

 12:01:17  PeggyG : bye Jim

 12:01:23  marragem : Bye Jim. Thnaks for joining us

  12:01:42  sheila : Maria has a family committment.

 12:01:48  Maureen : Thx Sheila

12:02:19  *not*GingerTPLC : Hubs is listening in and totally agrees with Lisa re: retiring teachers.

12:02:49  kathbc : As a teacher nearing retirement, I try every day to be a better teacher than I was the day before.  It is frustrating to be labeled just because of age, no matter what the age is.

12:02:58  loonyhiker : we had a experienced broadcast journalism teacher upset that she had my 2 students (one with down syndrome and the other was autistic) in her class. She thought they were too "dumb" to be there. I worked closely with her on lessons and understanding disabilities and the kids did a fantastic job. She invited them back the next year for level 2. :)

  12:03:08  sheila : I sooo agree @kathbc

  12:03:24  PeggyG : that's a great story loonyhiker!! wonderful solution!

12:03:54  loonyhiker : @peggy i was just lucky that the teacher had an open mind and was willing to work with me - wouldn't b possible if she shut down

12:04:11  PeggyG : I agree kathbc! I had some oncredible teachers very near retirement who were fantastic!  not good to generalize

 12:04:11  jackiegerstein : But that is really a life lesson - the kids will need how to manage difficult people throughout their lives.  I don't think "those types" of teachers would listen -even to "I" messages

  12:04:23  Maureen : @Lisa I think you should tell the woman - blonde moment person and explain to her why. Try not to be judgemental...even if you are right

12:04:50  PeggyG : that is what I was thinking Jackie--life lesson and they need to learn to work with all kinds of people--even college instructors run the gamut

 12:04:56  Maureen : @jackie Good point

12:05:44  Barb In Nebraska : hey, all, got to head out! Everyone have a great day!

 12:05:52  PeggyG : bye Barb

12:06:17  *not*GingerTPLC : Are the mentorships in your schools only for new teachers, or are they encouraged to be more long-term?

  12:06:20  PeggyG : that's the point Sheila!! go directly to the person rather than talking/complaining about them!

 12:06:21  Maureen : I have talked with one of my 8th graders- who continually sets himself up to be the butt of jokes, and explained to him what he is doing and why people, even me, will laugh sometimes. Now, when he does it, I just say "you're setting yourself up again"

  12:06:25  Leslie D. : Principal's job too.

 12:06:29  Lisa Parisi : Only new teachers Ginger

12:06:56  loonyhiker : @maureen i've told my kids that others can't respect them if they didn't respect themselves

  12:07:00  Maureen : My daughter had her in 4th

12:08:22  Maureen : Yes pat, self respect is a problem with him- he acts like the way he does ( almost said like an idiot) because he is trying to get attention or say something negative about himself before others do ( altho they won't)

  12:08:34  *not*GingerTPLC : You're empowering your daughter. I'm so sorry you had to do that. Funky how teachers are rude to bright kids like that. :(

12:09:15  kathbc : Comments like the teacher to your child are of course totally inappropriate.  You did a good job helping your daughter deal with a difficult personality. 

 12:09:16  PeggyG : that was a great way to teach your daughter that life skill though! she will meet other teachers like that in her lifetime

12:10:01  loonyhiker : @lisa and your daughter knows you will hang in there w/ her when necessary

 12:10:03  PeggyG : empowering kids with the skills--great point Amanda!

  12:10:29  Maureen : We all work with people who are difficult to deal with. It is important for kids to understand that they will not like everyone, but how they can work with them.

12:10:50  Leslie D. : I think that's good with older kids, but we have a first grade teacher who is mean to kids:{

12:11:20  loonyhiker : @lisa it doesn't matter to me as much as it does you so i would do my best to avoid it in front of you because i know it bothers you

  12:11:36  PeggyG : values underly all of this! teacher's values definitely influence what happens in their classrooms whether stated or unstated

 12:11:40  *not*GingerTPLC : I think it's ok to be tough on kids. I'm pretty danged tough, but like to think that all toughness has to be balanced out by love. Compliments, especially for the kids who get on our nerves!

12:11:45  Maureen : Ok, now when I see Lisa f2f, no jeans and no guys.... got it

12:11:52  Leslie D. : I agree with Lisa.  I don't think these teaches want to be changed.

 12:11:56  Lisa Parisi : LOL...

 

12:12:38  PeggyG : if there are school norms, rules, policies all teachers should support them--Responsive Classroom is a great model

12:12:56  loonyhiker : i had teachers who were offended by the word "butt" and gave my kids detention for it - i was only grateful that they stopped using the word a#@ and used this lol

12:13:25  PeggyG : yes loonyhiker--you're picking your battles :-)

 12:13:26  Lisa Parisi : We sit on our butts in our classroom, Loonyhiker

12:14:06  Maureen : @loonyhiker I won't let them use suck- explained to them why, and just rephrase for them when I hear it- or some other student automatically rephrases.

12:14:31  Lisa Parisi : That's a word I just say is not appropriate for school, Maureen.

12:14:59  Maureen : But just like guys- it is part of the norm for them

12:15:33  Maureen : But now it just means it stinks

 12:15:35  McTeach : I teach at a Catholic school. People assume their kids are getting a "better" education at Catholic schools...I have no idea why!! I've yet to see it!

12:15:56  PeggyG : I've seen iCarly with my grandkids

 12:15:57  Maureen : @McTeach- you've shattered my illusions

 12:15:58  *not*GingerTPLC : See, I say sucks. And crap. I figure it's important for them to figure out what's appropriate when and where.

 12:16:21  McTeach : Sorry, Maureen! :)

12:16:51  Maureen : I got in trouble with 7th graders for telling them they could pimp their igoogle pages. One 7th grade boy told me that the word had multiple meanings.  Yup

 12:16:57  loonyhiker : i think the discussion is the most important thing

12:17:10  kathbc : I do think shows like that send a troubling message to kids.  They don't get it, you are right. 

12:17:50  Maureen : I do too-when I first heard it, I was appalled... but now the kids have a different meaning for it

12:17:53  loonyhiker : if we read an older book that uses the word "gay" to mean happy, my students snicker or outright laff

12:18:02  jackiegerstein : Have to differentiate between age appropriate "teasing" and malicious commentary - kids always have teased one another - it is a very fine line and balance

 12:18:12  Leslie D. : Language does change and sometimes it's NOT a lack of respect.

12:18:25  *not*GingerTPLC : But Lisa, that's the evolution of the English language. It's always in flux.

 12:18:31  jackiegerstein : Kids used to be a goat and derrogatory (sp)

 12:18:33  Leslie D. : What about kids not calling their parents Mrs. Smith or Mr. Vargo?

 12:18:35  marragem : I even have 7 yr olds snigger at the word 'gay' and that's sad

 12:18:38  PeggyG : words can be very hurtful even when they aren't "bad" words

12:18:45  Maureen : I'm not happy that kids even know the word and what it means.... but

 12:18:47  *not*GingerTPLC : The english lang is the biggest, baddest SOB out there.

12:19:05  PeggyG : I love your point Jackie about teasing

12:19:14  Maureen : No, we had fairies

 12:19:18  jackiegerstein : Thx Peggy

 12:19:19  McTeach : I hate that "gay" is used as a derogatory term!!

  12:19:36  McTeach : For crying out loud...we live in the San Francisco Bay Area!!! We should know better!!

12:19:41  kathbc : The Owl and the Pussycat was something I used to love to use in class, can't any longer.  Students get too distracted.

12:19:43  *not*GingerTPLC : It's more the semantics and intent behind the words right? Grandma used to say "sugar" for a cuss word. It mean the same thing.

 12:19:47  jackiegerstein : LOL McTeach

12:19:58  PeggyG : yes Ginger!

12:20:08  *not*GingerTPLC : @kathbc--I use those intentionally and say pussycat on purpose to force them to get over it!

 12:20:22  McTeach : We don't talk about it in Catholic schools!!

12:20:31  PeggyG : much humor is making fun of people/put-downs

12:20:35  Maureen : @loonyhiker the first time I heard that something was sick, I had no idea

12:20:56  *not*GingerTPLC : @McTeach, I agree totally about "gay" used derogatorily. I have *no* patience for that.

12:21:19  McTeach : Me too, Ginger! Oh, excuse me....NOT Ginger!

12:21:35  McTeach : I have too many gay friends who had such a hard time growing up

 12:21:49  PeggyG : it "takes a village to raise a child"--we all have to share the responsibility for teaching these important social skills

 12:21:50  Maureen : I think it's hard because we don't generally think of kids as sexual beings, and until Monica L most had no clue, and TV, MTV, etc... It is really different now. They don't really get it, but they've heard the words and try to use them

12:22:12  Leslie D. : Different cultures are more comortable with language than others. We have a 3rd grade teacher from Uruguay and she has a poster of the body. It incudes the penis.  I still, as an American, find it a bit odd.

12:23:01  *not*GingerTPLC : Semantics is an IMPORTANT conversation to have and to let folks know that some words aren't acceptable in some circles. Great topic!

12:23:08  loonyhiker : some words also mean different things in different cultures and countries - students need to be aware of that - our state dance is the "shag" which means something offensive in the UK

12:23:33  Maureen : @loonyhiker :D

12:23:46  loonyhiker : and collaborating with students around the world, we need to make students aware of these possibilities

12:24:17  PeggyG : that's such an important point loonyhiker! globabl collaboration requires a new awareness about cultural norms

 12:24:24  loonyhiker : we say snicker

 12:24:48  loonyhiker : fanny

 12:24:49  jackiegerstein : Austin Powers is the model of inappropriate language - watching it with my nieces and nephews over vacation - couldn't believe it and then we wonder why kids are using the terminology they do

 12:24:56  jackiegerstein : watched

 12:25:04  Leslie D. : what does it mean?

 12:25:04  *not*GingerTPLC : "bum"

  12:25:10  *not*GingerTPLC : "fanny?"

 12:25:10  jackiegerstein : buttocks

 12:25:15  Leslie D. : tell us.

 12:25:20  *not*GingerTPLC : "bloody"

12:25:32  loonyhiker : doesn't fanny mean female private parts?

 12:25:39  *not*GingerTPLC : you keep saying that word that she's uncomfortable with!

12:25:50  *not*GingerTPLC : lol

 12:25:51  PeggyG : I heard Sir Ken Robinson talking about his experience coming to America and hugging people--considered inappropriate by some.

12:26:18  *not*GingerTPLC : bugger?

12:26:46  loonyhiker : oh knocked up means something different too

 12:26:56  loonyhiker : yes, u say that to me a lot amanda :)

  12:27:06  Leslie D. : In those cases, the change of language doen't mean a lack of disrespect. 

12:27:20  PeggyG : those are definitely challenges because the English language keeps changing and new words are added to the dictionary every year--idioms are especially difficult for non-English speakers

12:27:30  *not*GingerTPLC : We're all adults.

12:28:27  McTeach : Oh, good question!

12:28:43  PeggyG : if you say something that is offensive to someone else (unknowingly) wouldn't you want them to tell you it bothers them?

  12:28:46  *not*GingerTPLC : The urban dictionary can be our friend when we're talking to kids and they laugh for seemingly no reason.

12:29:18  Maureen : @Ginger- I've looked many words up in the urban dictionary

 12:29:20  Leslie D. : @PeggyG Yes.

 12:29:20  loonyhiker : urban dictionary is definitely bookmarked :)

 12:29:22  marragem : yes I would, Peggy

12:30:17  loonyhiker : learned that regional expectations r different too

12:30:28  PeggyG : great summary Maureen!

 12:30:31  loonyhiker : thanks y'all for a great conversation today

12:30:45  PeggyG : very stimulating conversation!! lots to think about!

12:30:57  kathbc : thanks for the conversation